Forgotten Love
by psalm57
Summary: Susan is involved in a terrible accident that takes her memory. Will she remember who she is in love with? Is it a Marsan or a Carsan? HMMM?
1. Chapter 1

**Forgotten Love**

**Chapter 1**

            "I can't believe I'm back," Susan Lewis mumbled under her breath. She had been gone from Cook County General for five years. She had followed her niece out to Arizona and had never imagined herself walking through the familiar electric ER doors again.  But something had brought her back. Was it fate? Was there a reason she had returned? She had lived happily in Arizona for five marvelous years. But Susie didn't need her anymore. And Cook County seemed to pull her back somehow.

            Susan walked down the familiar white halls, making her way to the lounge. She peered at the admittance desk and caught a glimpse of a growing stack of clipboards. She moaned to herself as she began to remember too well the busy days at Cook County. She arrived in front of the lounge and entered the place that had once been her safe haven. The place she ran to when the ER, or the people at the ER, were too much to handle.

            "Susan!" A familiar voice came from across the lounge. She looked to the opposite  side of the room to a familiar face seated on one of the warn in couches.

            "Mark!"

            Mark Green rose to his feet and approached her. The two embraced one another in a short hug and then quickly pulled away. They had not seen each other since the day they said good-bye at the train station.

            "I had heard that you might be coming back, but then I thought it was just a rumor. You know how rumors spread like wildfire here at Cook County."

            Susan smiled to herself. She remembered the days at Cook County when rumors began. A person could have a simple cold but by the end of the day they were dying from terminal cancer.

            "So, how does it feel to be back?" A curious Mark inquired. There was still a tinge of nervousness in his voice. They had said good-bye on such a strange note.

            "To tell you the truth, it's kind of weird."

            Mark smiled, "Well, if you have any questions or…" he trailed off.

            "Thanks Mark, I think I can get back into the swing of things." She answered politely. She too felt awkward. Their reunion after five years apart and after such a difficult good-bye was not expected to be the easiest thing.

            She made her way to the opposite wall and found her locker. She quickly removed her jacket, replacing it with the white lab coat. She then removed her new leather shoes and put on an old pair of tennis shoes. She knew she would be on her feet for the next eight hours. She closed her locker and approached the lounge door. As her hand touched the doorknob Mark opened his mouth to speak. "Susan?"

            "Yeah Mark?"

            "Do you want to maybe go…"

            "MVA, two major, three minor." Chuni's voice cut in. "Two teenagers were drunk driving. We need both of you out here."

            Susan had jumped back as the door had swung open. Mark's words had been lost in the excitement.

            "Nice to see you again, Susan." Chuni said.

            "You too," Susan replied as she rushed out of the lounge.

            Mark followed closely behind as they shadowed Chuni down the hall and into trauma 1. Each doctor made their way over to a gurney and made themselves useful.

            "What do we have here?" Susan asked the medical crew around her. At her question a head popped up from the opposite side of the gurney.

            Susan?"

            "Yep, that's me. How have you been, Carter?" Susan answered as she began to read the patient's vitals. "I think we might have to intibate."

            "My thoughts exactly." Carter responded as he rattled off needed tools to the nurse attending the two. "I've been pretty good. So are you back for good?"

            "Well, that's what it looks like for now."

            "Great! We've missed you around here, susan. Well, I've missed you around here." Susan smiled at this comment. Carter began once more, "Do you want…" but was quickly interrupted by Dr. Green.

            "Um, we need you over here." He answered in an aggravated tone.

            Susan turned away from Carter and began to assist Mark with the other patient. When they had finished they exited the trauma room together. As they strolled down the long white hall Mark began to talk. "Um, I was just um wondering I um you um…" His voice trailed off as he saw Carter out of the corner of his eye. Carter stared intensely at Dr. Green and then looked at Susan. "Um, never mind." He quickly walked away in search of something to keep him busy.

            Susan's day continued to drag on. She had seen two MVA's, two stabbings, three pneumonia patients, five food poison cases, and a kid who had swallowed five marbles. She began to feel as if she had never left. The patients were just as she had remembered them to be. But the staff was different. She had felt awkward around Carter and Mark all day. She had been excited to see the both of them. They had been great colleagues once upon a time and she had looked forward to working with them once again. But something wasn't right between the two. She sighed as she thought about the looks the two had given one another. She knew that drama went on between the staff at Cook County General, but she had hoped it wouldn't start her first day back.

            Susan peered down at her watch. Her eight hours were up. She longed to go home and take a bubble bath. Her limbs ached after remaining in a standing position the entire day. As she entered the lounge, she spotted Carter at the counter, pouring himself a cup of coffee.

            "Hello Susan!"

            "Hey Carter."

            "How was your first day back?"

            "Do you think its too late to back out?"

            Carter smiled, "What would we do without you?"

            "I don't know. What have you done for the last five years?"

            "They were horrible years."

            "I'm sure they were."

            "Hey, Susan. You're off now, right? Do you want to grab something to eat. I'm starving."

            "Um, I'm not sure. I was kind of looking forward to going home. My body is not used to this work anymore."

            "Oh come on. You must be starving. You didn't take a break at all."

            Susan was reluctant. She was exhausted. But she might as well. She was hungry. But secretly she hoped that Mark might go out for a bite with her. Their first day back together was surprisingly easy. She hadn't imagined it would have gone so smoothly. Their last parting was anything but smooth. "I guess." She gave in. He didn't look as if he was going to give in.

            "Great! I just need to finish filling out one chart and I'll be done. Wait here and I'll be back in five."

            Carter exited the room as susan found her locker and began to remove her shoes. She suddenly looked up as she heard the door swing open. Carter couldn't be done already. "Hi, Susan." Mark walked over to the counter and proceeded to pour himself a cup of coffee. "Um, I meant to ask you earlier today, but do you, maybe want to, um, get something to eat? You're off, right?"

            Susan sighed loudly, "You ask me now?"

            "I'm sorry." Mark apologized confused.

            "I can't. Carter already asked me. Do you want to join us?" susan knew he would decline.

            "Um, no that's ok. Have a nice time"

            "Thanks Mark. Maybe tomorrow."

            "Ok, that'll be nice." He poured the remaining liquid from his cup down the sink. He hadn't had much of it. He rinsed the mug and left the room. He walked down the hall, passing the admittance desk where Carter stood, filling out a chart. "Have fun with Susan."

            "Oh, she told you?"

            "Yeah, I was hoping to do the same, but I guess you beet me."

            "Oh, sorry man. Maybe next time."

            "Yeah, if you don't steal her then too." Mark mumbled under his breath.

            "What did you say?"

            "Nothing."

            "Yes you did. What did you say?"

            "Nothing. Just drop it."

            "What did you say." Carter pushed Mark against the wall. "Tell me."

            "Get your hands off of me, Carter."

            "No, not until you tell me what you said."

"Let go of him Carter. What are you doing." Kerry yelled from behind.

            "He's accusing me of stealing Susan from him. I didn't know you had claimed her." Carter yelled in anger.

            "You know our history, Carter. She has always been mine."

            I'm no ones!" Susan bellowed at the two men. She had heard commotion in the lobby and had went in search of the source.

            Carter let go of Mark. "Susan, that's not what I meant."

            "Susan." Mark offered.

            "No save it. You can go grab something to eat together. I'm out of here." Susan walked quickly out of the Er and began to sprint to the el. Mark and Carter followed close behind. They were furious at one another. Susan stepped onto the busy Chicago street, attempting to beet the two to the opposite side. Just as she reached the middle of the street a stray car slammed on its breaks. Susan was hit by the nose of the car and was sent flying. She hit the pavement six feet in front of the car, her head striking the road violently.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for all the reviews. I'm sorry if this idea has been done before. I promise I did not copy it. But, I am going to continue on with it. I have some ideas I really want to use. I'm also sorry about the vulgarity, but I think it portrays Carter appropriately.**

**Chapter 2**

Mark and Carter both froze as they saw the vehicle hit Susan. The two remained transfixed on the curb staring at the still body. A pool of blood began to form around her. As the two men stood in disbelief a group of people pushed from behind forcing them to move out of the way. A crowd had formed and the ER had been notified. Kerry and Luka forced Carter and Mark out of the way. Chuny followed the pack pushing a gurney. Mark and Carter were snapped back to reality and sprinted over to the sight.

"How does her head look?" Mark question rapidly as he came up behind Kerry.

"Not good. There is a lot of blood. She's going to need a head CT."

"This is all your fault, jackass." Mark bellowed at Carter.

"Shut the fuck up. You had just as much to do with this."

"You started the fight."

"You…"

"Both of you need to leave right now." Kerry yelled at the top of her lungs. "We're trying to save Susan's life after the two of you caused her to run off like that."

"But we want to help." Carter put in.

"You guys have been enough help for one day. Just get out of my way." Kerry turned away as she spat off vitals to Luka.

The two men hesitated and then backed away. They made their way back through the ER doors and toward the lounge. As they entered the vacant room, Mark made his way over to the old, beat-up sofa and sat down.

"What the hell do we do now? This is all your fault, son-of-a-bitch. Because of you…" Carter stopped as he heard a sobbing noise come from Mark's direction. Mark had buried his face in his hands an begun to cry. Carter turned around and stomped out of the lounge, slamming the door behind him.

Mark felt sick to his stomach. What had he done? He had always loved Susan. He was miserable when she had left. All he wanted to do was go out to dinner with her. But he let his anger toward Carter get in the way. Why had he been such a fool. Now the woman who he was madly in love with was fighting for her life. If she died he knew he wouldn't be able to go on any longer. She was his life. Seeing her after all those years had reassured this.

He rose from the couch. He had to find out how Susan was doing. He had to be there for her.

He exited the lounge and made his way down the hall toward the admit desk. "Jerry, do you know where they took Susan?" Mark tried to keep his voice steady.

"Yeah. Up for a head CT, and then the OR. Something about her spleen."

"Thanks, Jerry." Mark walked down the hall toward the elevator. He knew he would not be able to see her for several hours, but he couldn't leave. He entered the elevator and pushed 4. He exited the elevator and made his way toward the OR waiting room. He would wait for as long as he had to. He made himself comfortable in a corner chair. He would be there for quite some time.


	3. Chapter 3

**First I just want to give a shout out to all those who have reviewed. Thank you snapdragon247, Susan17, rocketlover, saved-by-grace, pinksparkle02, jezzy, er fanfic reader, britgirl2003, mrsclooney, Noah Wyle's chick, and exquisiterevelation. Also, britgirl, its not that I don't love Carter. I actually love him, but I love Marsans (LOL). When he died I was very upset. Well, here it is. I hope you like it. I wrote it while I should have been doing HW. Who cares about algebra and Spanish anyway?**

**Chapter 3**

"Dr. Green, Mark, wake up." Mark slowly opened his eyes. As he gained consciousness, a clear picture of his surroundings came into view. While waiting to see Susan, he had fallen asleep in the waiting room. A familiar nurse stood in front of him. As a member of the ER, he regularly corresponded with the OR staff. "Mark, Susan is in recovery. Would you like to see her?"

"Yes, please."

"Follow me." Mark groggily rose from his seat, just now noticing the crick in his neck. He rubbed his tired eyes and followed the young woman out of the waiting area. They walked down the long, white hall and into recovery. "Right in here. She's of course still asleep."

"Thanks."

The woman left Mark. She knew that Mark wanted privacy. Mark approached one side of Susan's bed. He felt awkward being so close to her, even when she was asleep. He eyed all the machinery and IVs that came from her body. As an ER doctor, these instruments were nothing new to him, but seeing them come from someone he loved so much made it extraordinarily difficult. When a patient was hooked to every thing imaginable, it was sad, but it was just what they had to do. When it was Susan, the woman he had always loved, it was far different. As he peered at her frail body, tears began to fall down his pale cheeks. His ear caught the sound of her monitor beeping in the corner. As he looked at her face, the sound seemed to ring louder and louder. With every breath, the sound became unbearable. He covered his ears to block the sound, but it just seemed to increase in volume. Tears began to flood his eyes. How could he have let this happen? He loved her so much.

"I'm so sorry, Susan. I love you more than I could ever tell you." He cried out as he ran from the room.

He walked briskly down the hallway and into the elevator. He had to get as far from her as he could. He had longed to see her, but now that he had, he felt ten times worse. He loved her. He really loved her. But what was going to happen? She was so small, so frail. As he entered the elevator, he paid no attention to his surroundings. He shot his hand out to push the appropriate numbers. At the same time another occupant of the chamber did the same. Their hands touched and the two men looked at each other. Mark looked into Carter's eyes. Their was no anger in his eyes. There was pain and sorrow. Mark stared blankly at his fellow doctor. He had no idea as to what to say.

"Sorry," Mark muttered quietly as the elevator stopped on his floor and he quickly rushed out of the small chamber. He wanted to hate Carter. He was responsible for Susan's condition. But he had seen the sorrow in his eyes. Was John feeling the same things that he was? And he was just as responsible for what had occurred. But, Carter had been the one who had provoked the argument that inevitably brought on the accident. Mark shook his head in confusion. He headed to the lounge. He gathered his belongings from his locker, removing his lab coat, and exited the lounge. He quickly vacated the ER, walking out onto the busy Chicago street where the accident had occurred. He was not quite sure where he was going. He had no true destination in mind. He just had to clear his mind.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

**Well, rocketlover, by your request, I'm going to give Romano a cameo. I think I have the perfect setting too. It will happen in the next chapter or so. Thanks for all the reviews and please keep them coming.**

**Chapter 4**

Carter exited the elevator on the fourth floor. Running into Mark had been quite awkward. He hadn't been able to sleep the night before. The fight kept replaying over and over in his head. He couldn't get over his anger. He wanted to pound Mark's face in. He had asked Susan out. Mark didn't have tabs on her. He had asked first. It was fair and square. How was he supposed to know that Mark wanted to do the same? He couldn't read minds. He was an ER doc, not a psychic. He clenched his fists as he thought of Mark. He wanted so badly to beat the crap out of him. He pictured himself with his hands gripped tightly around Mark's neck, strangling him.

But suddenly the picture of Mark's face popped into Carter's mind. The picture of Mark's face when they met in the elevator. His eyes were swollen, his cheeks coated in tears, his shoulders slumped over. Mark was not angry. He was miserable. He was far passed misery. But Mark had contributed to putting Susan in the hospital. He had asked Susan first. Mark should have acted like an adult about the situation. He had acted like a little kid. It was his fault. But his eyes. His eyes were so sad. They seemed to say something, but Carter was not quite sure what.

Carter shook his head violently. "Stop thinking about that jackass." He instructed himself. He entered the recovery area. He spotted Susan at the far end and made his way over to her bed. She looked so helpless. He winced as he glanced over all the machinery that was keeping her alive. He knew the medical explanation for all the instruments, but such knowledge just seemed to make the situation more uncomfortable.

"Mark you son-of-a-bitch." He felt the anger begin to build inside of him once again. "You did this to her."

He looked down at her beautiful face but instead was greeted by a pale frown. This wasn't his Susan. Mark Green had killed his Susan. He leaned over her and kissed her lightly on the cheek and left the room.

He took the elevator back down to the ER and gathered his belongings quickly. He left the hospital in search of something, but he wasn't quite sure what. He walked down the busy Chicago street. He walked several blocks, never truly paying any attention to those he passed. His mind spun with confusion. He was so angry. He hated Mark Green. How was he ever friends with that man? And he was miserable. He had fought Mark. He had contributed to Susan's accident. And he was full of sorrow. Susan was lying helpless in a hospital bed. Susan wasn't supposed to be helpless. She was strong. She was the one who helped the helpless, not the other way around.

He passed a park he commonly visited and decided to walk around the park to clear his mind. He walked slowly through the tall green grass. The wind blew harshly. He came upon a bench and decided to sit for awhile. He was fatigued after his sleepless night. He had not noticed the man beside him. He looked over and looked deep into Mark's eyes.

"We have to stop doing this." Mark offered, attempting to clear the air.

"I guess I'll be going." Carter rose to his feet.

"No, please don't go, I want to talk to you."

"Why so you can blame me for what happen? I don't want to talk to you. Because of you Susan is lying helplessly in a hospital bed over at County."

"Carter, just listen."

"No, save it, jackass."

"I'm the jackass? You provoked the fight in the first place." Mark had tried to keep his composure, but Carter had known exactly what buttons to push.

"What, are we in first grade?"

"You sure act like it."

"Shut the fuck up."

"If you hadn't of acted like a five year old when I asked Susan out, this never would have happened."

"You know how I felt, but you didn't care. You asked her out anyway, even when you knew I was trying to do the same. The world isn't all about you, Carter. You can't have every girl."

"I asked her out. Is that a crime? I don't read minds Green. How was I supposed to know you felt so strongly about her?"

"I love Susan" Mark bellowed as loudly as he could. "How could you have not known that? When she left for Arizona I went after her. I've loved her ever since."

The two men became silent. Mark stared at Carter waiting for a come back. "I hate you, you son-of-a-bitch." Carter spat at Mark and turned quickly and walked quickly out of the park.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey everyone, here's the next chapter. I'm sorry it took so long. High school keeps you busy. I'm sorry if the medical stuff makes no sense. I'm not a doctor and will never be one. Rocketlover, I put Romano in just for you. I hope you like it.**

**Chapter 5**

The two doctors returned to County the next day. Both found it difficult to shake Susan from their minds, but they knew that hiding in their apartments would do little to nurse her back to health. But both were nervous about working in the same hospital. The tension was still very thick.

As the two made their way into the ER that morning, fellow employees seemed to sense the hostility that existed. Few words were passed between the two. When they were forced to work in the same room, they avoided eye contact and kept their conversations completely professional.

But even professional talk seemed to cause tension between the two doctors. Carter turned crimson at the mention of Mark's name. Mark would change the subject at the mention of John's name. They tried to act as if the other ceased to exist.

"John, Mark, we need you out here. Three GSWs. There was a gang fight!" Chuny bellowed from down the hall. The two men left what they had been doing and rushed to trauma 1. They glared quickly at each other as they entered the room. "Chuny, what are the stats?" Carter inquired as he made his way to the side of one of the gurneys. Mark listened as he came up behind. "I think his spleen ruptured. Let's get him up to the OR."

"No, it couldn't have. The bullet couldn't have gone in that deep. Look at the wound!"

"Mark, he's bleeding out badly. The bullet went in pretty far!"

"I don't think we need to take such drastic measures! Let's get an x-ray."

"No, we need to get him upstairs!"

"Do you have to object to everything I say?"

"Well yeah, when you're wrong!"

"Doctors, get a hold of yourself! Get out of my way, I'm taking over." Romano pushed in front and took over yelling instruction to the nurses.

Carter and Mark coward out of the room and occupied themselves in various tasks. Mark felt childish for his actions. Carter was probably right. He just couldn't seem to contain himself anymore. He wanted to strangle him. He wanted to make him feel everything that Susan was feeling.

At the end of his shift, he quickly went to the lounge. As many other ER docs, he generally was caught up in his work and didn't leave until much later then he was supposed to, but today he just needed out. As he entered the lounge Romano was in the corner. He walked quietly to his locker, not wanting to provoke another confrontation with Robert.

"So Dr. Green, are you going to mope around the ER from now on trying to get everyone to feel sorry for you because you and little Jonnie got into an argument and now you'll never get the girl you love?"

"Shut up, Robert," Mark mumbled under his breath.

"Oh come on Mark, we all know you love her. We've always known it. When she first left, I thought little Mark would die. But then she came back and I saw just how gosh darn giddy you were."

"Shut the hell up, Romano, I'm out of here." Mark slammed the door to his locker shut.

"Wait Green, cut the crap. I'm sorry, ok? I know exactly how you feel. Do you think I don't know how it feels to love a woman so much, but she never seems to get it? Do you know how pissed I was when Lizzie went out with Benton? I know how you feel!"

"Thanks Robert. I guess I never thought about that. But what am I supposed to do?"

"Fight like hell. She still has a chance. When she wakes up, you better sure as hell be there. You be the one who is there for her, not Carter."

"But how am I supposed to compete with Carter? I've been trying for years. She doesn't seem to care."

"She cares. Why do you think she came back, idiot? She had nothing in Arizona, but she did have something here. Hey, take it from one lonely man to another, fight like hell Mark for the girl you love. I know I have. I have been for years. I don't know if I'll ever get the one I love, but someone might as well."

"Thanks, Robert."

"Hey, I figure I might as well say something nice once every year or so. But it's over now, so get out of my face idiot!"

"Bye Robert." Mark exited the lounge.


	6. Chapter 6

Hey, here is my next chapter. I'm sorry its taken a few weeks, but high school keeps me pretty occupied. Also, I didn't get any reviews for the last chapter. Please, please, please review. I'm not one of those people who refuse to update if I don't get reviews, but it is a great encourager. Also, rocketlover, I hope you enjoyed Ramano's cameo in the last chapter. Oh, and sorry its so short. I promise more soon.

**Chapter 6**

Mark returned to the ER the next morning. He never would have fathomed the idea that Ramano would have ever given him such insightful advice, but it had happened. He actually felt energized. He had loved Susan for years. Nothing could shatter such emotion, not even John Carter. He entered the lounge and approached his locker. He quickly changed into the appropriate shoes and lab coat and exited the room. He grabbed a clipboard from the counter and scanned the information. "Forty-five year old man with chest pain," he read aloud. He was surprisingly happy. For some reason he couldn't help but smile. The color that had been vacant from his complection seemed to have recovered slightly.

The next hour or so succeeded in keeping him cheerful. He still wasn't exactly sure how Ramano's speech had changed him, but hearing the whole thing out loud seemed to confirm it to the world. He figured this realization was what he had been searching for for quite some time. The world knew, so he knew for sure too.

"Hey, Chuny, can you order a CBC and blood tox for Mr. Stanley in curtain 3?" Mark started as he exited curtain 3. As he glanced over at Chuny behind the counter, he noticed that she , along with Jerry and a few other ER employees, had suddenly become quiet, and looked at Mark unsure.

"Hey, what's up people? You guys are acting as if you saw a ghost."

"Mark…um…We just got a message from the ICU. Susan…she's…um…she's woken up." The color that Mark had gained back that day suddenly drained from his face. He turned on his heels and dashed for the elevator, not listening to the rest of Chuny's explanation. As the two doors separated, he pushed through making his way to her room. He pushed through the doors, not caring how he looked. He almost let out a cry of joy when he saw her perched up in her bed. He quickly approached the side of her bed speaking rapidly, "Susan, I'm so happy you're awake. I'm so sorry for everything. Please don't hate me. I just, just…"

"Susan? Who are you? Sorry for what?" Susan looked confused as she peered into Mark's eyes.

"susan, its me, Mark. Mark Green.!"

"Mark, can I talk to you outside?" Mark had not noticed the doctor who also occupied the room. He had been so anxious, he had not taken the time to evaluate his surroundings. He recognized the doctor as Dr. Rinker, one of the neurologists at County. Dr. Rinker pushed Dr. Green from the room. "Mark, you can't do that. She doesn't remember anything. Outbreaks like that are not going to help."

"She doesn't remember anything?"

"She had a pretty hard blow to the head. We just have to wait."

"Is there anything I can do."

"You know the drill, Mark. It just takes time. We need to reintroduce her to her surroundings. Help her remember. But no outbreaks like the stunt you just pulled. If you scare her, you'll just make it worse."

"Yeah," Mark responded, half listening. She didn't remember anything? He was so close. He knew exactly what he wanted to tell her. He was so sorry and loved her. He longed to just tell her exactly how he felt. But he couldn't. She didn't love him. She didn't know who he was.


	7. Chapter 7

**Here is the next update. I'm sorry it took so long, but it is now here. Rocketlover, I'm sure you will be happy to know that Dr. Rocket Robert Ramano has now begun to play a larger part in this than I had planned. I didn't intend for that to happen but it just kind of fell into place. Thanks for all the reviews. They are greatly appreciated, so please click on that button. Psalm57 loves reviews like Cookie Monster loves cookies. **

**Chapter 7**

Green quickly returned to the Er and rushed into the employee lounge. Hurriedly, he kicked off his work shoes and replaced them with his old sneakers. He absent mindedly, tossed his lab coat into his locker, not caring about the wrinkles it would undoubtedly leave later. Slamming the locker shut, he jogged out of the lounge and out of the hospital.

"Mark, you need to finish your shift…" Kerry shouted after him, but Jerry grabbed her by the sleeve.

"Have a heart, Kerry. He's going through a hard time. He wouldn't be much help here anyway." Jerry explained, sympathetically.

Outside, Dr. Green raced down the busy Chicago street, oblivious to where his travel would lead him. When his lungs would permit no more, he flopped down onto a gratified, street bench. Holding his head in his hands, he wept aloud. "Why, why was this happening?" he cried to himself. "I knew what I was going to say. Ramano kicked me in the ass, and I knew what I had to do. It was going to be so easy, now that I know exactly how I feel. There is no denial anymore. I love her, I really love her. Its not just infatuation. It's not just a male rivalry between Carter and me. I'm really, truly, eternally positive that I love Susan Lewis. But of course, this had to happen. Why?" He cradled his head in his hands, nursing his swollen eyes. As he sat there ignorant to the rest of the world around him, something abruptly had stricken him in the head. He responded quickly, learning that that something was a someone. Blinking through tear blurred eyes; he focused upon Dr. Robert Ramano standing before him.

"So, what are you blubbering about this time?"

Mark briskly wiped the tears from his eyes and attempted to clear his sinuses. If there was one thing Mark Green hated, it was showing weakness in front of Dr. Ramano. He had gained more respect for the man after their initial run in, but he still did not worship the man. "Susan woke up."

"And you're crying? Green, I'll never understand you. I would have thought that that would have made you happy, but then what do I know, I'm only a leading surgeon, in a prestigious hospital."

"Shut up, Robert. She has amnesia. She doesn't know who I am. I tried apologizing, I tried to tell her exactly how I feel, and she has no idea who I am or what I'm talking about."

Ramano was quiet for several moments. It seemed as if he were contemplating whether to spit out an insult or offer condolences, but Mark figured it would be the first. An actual offer of condolence had never passed from his lips as far as mark knew.

"Well, again, I'm just a stupid surgeon, but isn't it true that people can regain their memories when reintroduced to old things and people?" Ramano finally offered. "People that were close, people that were special to them?"

"Yeah, I guess. Yes, that's true."

"So, what are you waiting for? Be there for her. Help introduce her to old memories."

Mark frowned. "Why was Ramano always right?" he thought to himself. It was starting to get on his nerves.

"I hate to say it, but once again, you're right."

"I know!" Ramano plastered a cheesy smile on his face, placing his hands upon his heart.

"But what about Carter," Mark tossed out, proud that ramano the wonderful hadn't thought of everything.

"What about him. I know you two seem to be fighting over her, but who cares. You love her. Don't let him stop that. Besides, he's a good doctor and all, smart kid, but when it comes to Susan Lewis you've got the cat in the bag, Green."

"Do you think so?"

"That's for you to figure out." Ramano smiled. "But Mark…"

"Yeah?"

"Don't let her get away. I've been waiting for you two to pair up for as long as I can remember. And I am sorry. I know this must be really tough on you."

"Did Rocket Robert Ramano just say something sweet?" Mark jokingly gasped and grabbed his chest.

"Sshhh, don't tell or I might have to kill you."

"Thanks, Robert."

"I can't have my doctors running out during their shifts, now can I? Then I would actually have to do some work."

"Heaven forbid!"

"So, I'll see you back at work, bright and early tomorrow?"

"Yes sir."

"Good-bye, Mark," Ramano turned on his heels and began to walk briskly down the Chicago street.

"Wait, Robert…" Mark called after him.

"What do you need this time?" Ramano shouted over his shoulder.

"When are you going to go after your girl? We all know who you love."

Robert shrugged his shoulders, "Maybe this new rebirth of love will inspire me."

"I'll hold you to it."

"You do that."

"I will."

"Good-bye, Dr. Green." Robert left Mark to digest the conversation that had just occurred.

"Who would have imagined that the man who is helping me through all of this is the infamous Rocket Robert Ramano? The man who has no soul, the man who feels nothing!" Mark smiled to himself and began his pursuit home. He needed to rest so he would be alert and refreshed to begin his new life. His life in which he made Susan Lewis fall madly in love with him, for the second time.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Mark took the remainder of the day off. He was going to let himself cool down so he would be prepared for the next day. He could go into work as usual. He needed to get back to working regularly. The week's events had thrown him off course, but he had to get back on the saddle. He would visit her during his break and then before he left again. He would just talk to her. Ask her simple questions. Tell her that she was a doctor who worked in the hospital and that he was one of her colleagues. He had to take it slow. But he would never give up. He couldn't give up.

The next morning, Mark rose to get ready for work. He had awoken far earlier than he needed to. His shift did not begin until nine, but regardless, he woke at five and got up to start the day. He was far too anxious to remain in bed. His mind had a million things processing through it, and he could not keep himself from it. He rose, and began a cup of coffee. He proceeded into the bathroom to shower and shave. After he was finished, he sat at his small bar, drinking a cup of coffee and nibbling at a bagel. He finished his breakfast and finished brushing his teeth. Once all of this was done and said for, he still had an hour and a half left before his shift at the hospital began. He spent the next forty-five minutes doing nothing of importance. He attempted to straighten up his small apartment, but succeeded only in moving one pile of papers to another. He then flipped on television to waste time. But he failed in finding anything interesting to watch. Everything seemed to be an old rerun, or a pointless info-mercial. Finally at eight o'clock, he left his apartment early. He figured he'd work an extra hour or so. Kerry would never refuse another doctor in the ER.

As he entered the ER, he received numerous glances from around the room. He tried to brush them off. He had to admit that his behavior in the last few days gave them plausible reason to question his mental state presently.

He carried on the beginning of the day regularly. He dealt with several patients, trying to keep his mind focused solely on work and nothing else. He proved successful for the first few hours of the day. He had seen a five year old girl who had broken her arm after falling of the monkey-bars at school, a sixty year old man who had had a heart attack, two MVA's, several patients who had come down with the same stomach virus. But as it grew closer to one o'clock, his mind began to wander. He began to think of Susan again. He was proud of himself for the time he had kept himself preoccupied, but he knew he couldn't forever. It would eventually drive him crazy. He decided he would take his lunch break and go up to visit her. It wouldn't seem off to his co-workers. It was around the regular lunch hour, and practically all the others had been up to see her at one point or another. In fact, so had Carter, which began to worry Mark again. What if Dr. Carter had the same thing in mind? What if he too hoped to help refresh her memory? Well then, she would decide who she liked after she was better. He couldn't kill himself thinking about it, because it would eventually kill him.

He jumped in the elevator and road it up to the appropriate floor. He walked down the white hall to her room. Peaking in the window, he saw that she was awake and propped up in her bed. Gingerly pushing on the door, he entered the room. Cautiously, he approached her bed.

Clearing his throat, he managed to gain her attention. "Hello Susan."

"Hello…?"

"Hi, I'm Mark Green."

"Hi Mr. Green."

"Please, its mark."

"Ok, hi Mark."

"So how are you feeling?"

"Ok, I just wish I could remember something, anything. People keep coming in here saying that they know me, but I don't know any of them. Do you know me?"

"Yes, we work together."

"We do? What do we do?"

"We work together in this hospital. We're doctors."

"Oh," she replied. She seemed to be frustrated. Mark could not blame her. It must be difficult to have dozens of people telling you who you are, and where you work, but having no idea what they are talking about.

Both were silent for several moments. Neither knew what to say. Mark knew he wanted to find a way to jog her memory, but how? He didn't want to push too hard.

But Susan broke the silence first. "Well, Dr. Rinker, the neurologist told me that if people talk to me about my life, maybe I'll remember things. So, you say we know each other. Do we know each other well?"

Mark smiled. Where to begin? What he decided not to push it. He would explain the basics. "Yes, pretty well. We've worked together for a long time. We have a lot of mutual friends. Um, you know my daughter."

"Daughter? So you're married?"

"Divorced, actually. For several years now."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"It's ok, I'm still good friends with Jen, that's her name."

"So, um, what about the other doctors I work with?"

"Well, there's Elizabeth. She's a surgeon. She's the one with a British accent. She's great, very fiery, and gets the job done."

"Yeah, she came and said hi. Very sweet."

"Yeah. And um, there's Kerry. She's the head of the ER. Can be a real bitch sometimes, and you want to watch out for her most of the time, she cares about her ER, and won't let anything get in the way. But, when you're in trouble or having a real hard time, she does care."

Susan listened patiently. She seemed to be taking in all in; trying to drink it all up; trying to remember.

"And then there's Robert Romano. One of the biggest jackasses in the world. He'll make you feel like crap everyday of your life. But some how County would not be the same without him."

Susan smiled, "I guess there's a lot I have to remember."

Mark spent another thirty minutes with Susan, describing the rest of the County staff, and enjoying the time with her. She might not remember him, but it didn't change the fact that he loved being with her.

A/N:

Ok, I'm sorry for the long absence. School kept me preoccupied, and I have several other fics I'm trying to finish. But last time I added a new chapter for this fic, I only received one review. Please, please, pleas review. And oh, could someone tell me Mark's daughter's name. I don't know why I can't remember.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Mark continued to visit Susan everyday at lunch. Her memory had no sign of improvement, but he enjoyed sitting with her. He would tell her old stories of the ER. He enjoyed it. He was beginning to realize just how much history the two actually had. In fact, he was surprised to find that he had many stories to tell that occurred outside of the workplace: Dinners, conferences, parties, and even a few dates. He hoped talking about such events might spark something between the two. Every time he spoke to her, his heart ached for her just a little more. He was beginning to realize just how much he did care for her.

But after a week, Dr. Rinker, the neurologist, decided that she was well enough to go home. He thought the familiar environment of her own place would help jar her memory. Abby and Elizabeth agreed to take shifts helping her at home. She had little family in the area, but would need someone to help her out at home.

Mark was not on the schedule the day she was released from the hospital, and he volunteered to drive her home. As the two rode the elevator down, mark realized he had forgotten something in his locker. He thought visiting the ER might jar any memories for Susan, and decided to make a quick stop.

"Do you mind if we make a quick stop down at the Er? I need to get something from my locker."

"Um, sure. I don't mind."

The two exited the elevator and stepped into the busy ER. Susan looked startled and confused as she peered over the white halls of the emergency room.

"This is where we work?"

"Yep, the crazy emergency room of County General. Follow me"

The two walked down the hall toward the staff lounge. Entering the room, Mark spotted Abby and Elizabeth sitting on the old beet up couch. "Hey you two!"

"Hey Mark. Oh, hi Susan!" Elizabeth had spotted Susan standing gingerly behind Mark.

"hello," she answered back.

Leaving Susan to speak to the two women, Mark moved to his locker to retrieve what he forgotten.

"So, you must be happy to be going home." Abby put in.

"Yes, lying in a hospital bed is not exactly the most entertaining. I'm looking forward to getting out of this place."

"I'm sure your own bed sounds good right now?" Elizabeth put in.

"Well, to tell you the truth, I can barely remember my own place I don't remember my own bed."

"Oh, Honey your memory will come back soon. I know it will." Elizabeth offered encouragingly.

"Thanks, I hope so."

"Ok, ready?" mark asked, returning to Susan's side.

"Ready as I'll ever be."

"Ok, you take care of her Mark. We'll be over tonight to see if everything is going well."

"Thanks"

The two exited the lounge and made their way to the parking garage. Climbing into Mark's car, Susan had no idea where she was going.

As they drove through the crazy Chicago traffic, Susan looked cluelessly out the window. She hoped something would look familiar, but nothing did. Mark rarely drove his own car. The el was cheaper and much quicker, but he did not want to expose Susan to the crazy Chicago city jus yet. So their drive home would take longer than usual. The whole time, she peered out the window, search deep within her mind to bring back any memory possible.

After endless streets of confusion and memoryless buildings, Mark pulled into an apartment parking lot. Grabbing Susan's bag from the back, mark ran around to open her door. The two walked up two flights of stairs together. Pulling a key from her bag, Mark handed her the key. "Here's the key to your apartment."

Taking the offered key, Susan unlocked the door to the apartment that was apparently hers.

Stepping inside, she looked around. The small living room and kitchen area was small. Everything was clean and in order. Abby had come over the day before and insured that everything would be in place for her arrival.

Moving into her bedroom, Mark plopped her bag down on her bed. As she looked at the picture frames on her dresser, nothing looked right. Picking up a picture of Little Susie, she looked at mark for guidance.

"That's your niece, Susie."

"Why can't I remember?" a single tear escaped her eye. "Mark, do you mind if if I ask you to leave. I just want to be alone for awhile.'

Mark was hurt by the question. He wanted to be there for her. But even more so, he wanted greatly to help her remember. He wished there was something he could do. Respecting her wish, he moved toward the front door. "Yes, of course. I'll give you your privacy. Abby'll be over tonight to see if everything is ok. Please call me if you need anything. All of our numbers are by the phone."

"Thank you so much." Giving Mark a small hug, she moved into her bedroom and shut the door.

A/N:

I'm so, so, so sorry for the long absence. I've had a crazy school year, I've been working on a few other fics, and well, I just put this off. But I'm determined to finish it. So please, please R and R! Reviews are always greatly appreciated. I promise it won't take nearly as long to update again, and there will be more soon.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Lying down on her bed, Susan cried herself to sleep. Everything was so overwhelming. She wanted badly to know what had happened in the past: what she was like; who were her true friends; how to live her life.

Rising from her bed several hours later, she stumbled out into the kitchen in search of something to drink. Opening her fridge, she spotted a pitcher of some sort of fruit drink and decided it would do. Retrieving it from the fridge, she looked blankly through her cupboards for a cup. After a couple failed attempts, she came across a shelf full of mugs and cups. Grabbing what she needed, she filled a glass-cup with the liquid.

She seated herself on her sofa in the living room. Although she had regained much of her strength in the hospital, she was still feeling weak. After lying in a hospital bed for so long, it was an adjustment to move around.

As she sipped her drink, she shuffled through some magazines on her living room. Table. She caught sight of several medical journals. Nonchalantly, she flipped through the magazine. Coming across a magazine on heart disease and women, she read aimlessly.

"I remember this. I know what they're talking about. I understand everything they're saying!"

Tossing the first journal down, she grabbed for another excitedly. This time she flipped to a lengthy article written by a neurologist. After reading several paragraphs, she tossed it back onto the coffee table. "I remember this all. I'm a doctor. I remember that. I understand!"

Turning her attention to an album on the table, Susan flipped through the various pictures. Her eyes crossed over pictures of the same little girl from the picture in her room, another woman holding the little girl. She then viewed several pictures of doctors. Page after page, she looked at faces of people she still couldn't recognize.

"Why! Why can I remember everything I learned in medical school, but I can't remember who my friends are?" forcefully thrusting the album back onto the table, she rose to her feet to empty the remaining contents of her cup.

After placing her cup in the sink, she looked at the various numbers by her phone.

Who are these people? They've done so much for me. They obviously care, but I have no idea who they are. Why can't I remember?"

Returning to the couch, she flipped aimlessly through channels on the television. She hoped it might jar her memory. And to her surprise and excitement, a few of the programs seemed familiar. Anxiously she moved from one channel to the next, hoping something might jump out at her.

After a couple of hours channel surfing, her phone rang. Rising to her feet, she answered the call cautiously.

"Um, hello?"

"Hi Susan, its Abby, from the hospital. Elizabeth and I were just wondering if everything was going well, and if you wanted us to bring over some dinner. We thought we'd get Chinese, your favorite."

"Um, everything is going fine. Yeah, sure, dinner would be great."

"Ok, we'll be over in about an hour."

Susan waited patiently for the two women. And just like clockwork, the two women showed up one hour later with food in hand. The aroma of the take out filled the room, and Susan quickly learned why it was her favorite.

"Thank you so much for bringing me dinner." Susan politely thanked the other two women as they all sat on her couch, flipping through aimless news programs and TV movies.

"No problem. You've always been the responsible one, and bought the two of us dinner on more than one occasion. Let's just say, we owe you."

"Oh, haha, ok!"

"So Honey, you don't remember anything?" Elizabeth inquired. Her doctor self couldn't help but coming out.

"Well, I was flipping through those medical journals on my coffee table. I understand it all. I remember everything I learned in medical school, I just don't remember ever going."

"Well, hey, that's awesome, it's something. You still have your career."

"Haha, I suppose so. And when I was flipping through the channels, a few shows kind of rang a bell."

"Awesome! You're memory will come back." Abby put in.

"Can I ask you two a question?"

"Shoot!" answered Abby.

"What's up with Dr. Green? He seems to always want to help. Were we going out or…?"

The two looked at each other with smiles.

"What?"

"Know, but everyone in the ER knows that he has feelings for you, and for awhile, we thought you two might hook up. But then you moved away for awhile, to Arizona with your sister and niece."

"The one in the picture in my room."

"Yep, Susie. In fact, you'd just moved back to Chicago before the accident."

"What happened? No one's told me what caused the accident. I know that um, Dr. Carter, is it, acted kind of weird the first time I asked and changed the subject."

The two women exchanged glances.

"Do you want to tell her, or should I?" Abby asked Elizabeth, avoiding eye contact with Susan.

"Tell me!"

Abby looked back at Susan. "You had just come back to Chicago. Both Green and Carter were both excited to see you and jumped at the opportunity to try things out with you again. Both tried to ask you out, one thing led to another, and the two got in a fight, right there in the ER. You were frustrated by the, which you had total right to because they were both total jerks, so you ran out of the Er, trying to avoid both of them. The next thing we knew, you'd been hit by a car."

Susan sat stunned for several minutes. Carter and Green had fought over her; that's what led to her accident?

"Oh my gosh, I can't…"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. I just thought you had a right to know." Abby put in.

"No, no, thank you so much for telling me the truth. It's nice to know the truth."

"But can I say something?" Elizabeth inquired.

"Sure"

"You might be pissed at them after learning all this, but mark really does care for you. He was crushed after you moved to Arizona. I remember when I first started working at the hospital, I was shocked that he wasn't married, but everyone told me it was because he'd lost his true love."

"Gosh, I have a lot to think about. And I can't even remember it all."

"You'll figure it out." Abby said encouragingly. "I know you'll remember everything and figure it all out."

A/N:

Just as promised, here's the next chapter. It came out totally different than I had planned, but as I always say, the stories do kind of write themselves. Please R and R. The reviews keep the chapters coming.


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